Lifestyle Blogs, My World, Stories

My day with Mr. Badmus and co

My interesting phone conversation with Mr. Badmus, my long lost ‘friend’ that I supposedly met somewhere in Ogba randomly and gave my biodata. He was speaking in Yoruba so I’ll try to translate
…Phone rings…
AMA: Good morning, please who is this?
Caller: Good morning. Don’t you remember me?
AMA: No I don’t. Can you please remind me how I know you?
Caller: Is this not Mrs A? This is Mr *something* Badmus. I don’t want to waste my time divulging important information….(He then goes off to reel off my biodata, which he could have read off any of the various forms I have filled online…Note to self – reduce info shared on those online forms).
AMA: Oh, oh, oh, Mr. Badmus…How are you doing?
Mr Badmus: Is this Mrs A? I just want to confirm I’m speaking with the right person. You told me that you were born in March too …
AMA: Oh okay. So, to what do I owe this call?
Mr. Badmus: Remember I told you I work with NNPC, right? I have been transferred from Lagos to Port Harcourt. We are working with PPMC to repair the pipelines vandalized by militants. You had told me that you were interested in entrepreneurship. I just thought that what a man can do, a woman can do also (clever man)…There is this deal about lubricants bla bla bla
AMA: So, what do you need from me?
Mr. Badmus: We need you to supply the lubricant. It is a 3 year contract bla bla bla… Call me back in ten minutes so I can check for the name of the lubricant…Okay?
group of people using smartphones
Photo by on

*AMA flashes about 3 times after 10 minutes*

*Finally Mr. Badmus calls back*

Mr. Badmus: Hello. I asked you to call me back after 10 minutes and you’re flashing me…

AMA: Sorry sir, it’s the network. I can’t even hear you well again (Sorry, Airtel)
Mr. Badmus: CLICK…Silence…

I’m still waiting for Mr. Badmus to call back…lol

My colleagues are almost making me hysterical with their stories after I gisted them about this phone call…

My people, do you think Mr. Badmus will call back? If he does, any ideas on how to continue this story (using Mr. Badmus’ airtime)? Do you have similar stories to share?
**Nice one, Mr. Badmus, but no sir, I’m not a learner…you didn’t tell me how we met…**

As I was about to settle down and start flashing Mr Badmus (so I could run down his phone battery), I got a FB message from his niece, Success that wanted me to send her an email as she had something to tell me that could not be shared in a FB message (S/he was promptly reported to FB and blocked). As I settled down to start flashing again, I got an SMS from their long lost cousin, asking me to call Mr. Raymond concerning the 250000 Naira I won in the Coca Cola bonanza…Whew..
I need to start marketing my bath soap, it must have money-winning attributes..
Welcome to my world!

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