Ibukun spoke with Sayo about how his constant nagging and complaining drains her and makes her feel incompetent. Sayo told her that she was making a mountain out of a mole hill.
Sayo told her that she was just being lazy. He said her parents had over-indulged her so she couldn’t handle negative feedback.
Ibukun felt worse after talking to Sayo. She tried to speak with Sayo’s mum but his mum dismissed her concerns. According to his mum, Ibukun was just being too sensitive. Once a baby gets into the picture, all the silly issues would become irrelevant, Mama advised.
Ibukun really tried to ignore Sayo’s constant complaints but it was hard. He would even complain about her hygiene and her body.
Eventually, her self esteem nose dived. It started to affect her mentally. Her work started suffering. Even her sexual performance became affected. She was always jumpy and gradually started becoming a shadow of her bubbly self.
What baffled her the most was that Sayo was charming to everyone else but her. Whenever they were outside, he doted on her and was so attentive.
She had tried to confide in one of her leaders in church. The lady, Deaconness Gladys, told Ibukun that she found it difficult to believe that she was talking about the same Deacon Sayo that she knew. Deaconess Gladys had asked Ibukun if Deacon Sayo had ever hit her. Ibukun said “No”. She asked if Deacon Sayo had ever cheated on her. Again, Ibukun’s answer was “No”. Deaconess Gladys told Ibukun that she didn’t have a problem. All Ibukun had to do was to manage her expectations and appreciate Deacon Sayo’s honesty. According to the deaconess, some men would keep their opinions to themselves and cheat on the woman instead.
Ibukun thanked the deaconess and honestly tried to follow her counsel. The issue was that apparently, Deaconess Gladys mentioned it to Sayo and he did not take it well at all.
He was extra vicious when he talked to Ibukun about it and asked her if Deaconess Gladys had ever told Ibukun anything about her marital challenges. He told Ibukun that it was her inability to keep her issues to herself that kept them childless after 18 months of marriage.
Ibukun felt terrible the next Monday. She just wanted to stay in bed and sleep the rest of her life away. Sayo told her that he did not marry a woman that would sleep at home and do nothing. He ordered her to get out of the bed and go to work. If she truly felt ill, she should go to the hospital please.
Ibukun managed to go to work. One of her male colleagues, Nnamdi, noticed that she was really really slow. He asked if he could take her out to lunch and cheer her up. She decided to go with him.