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A bright young woman found herself in an entanglement with a certain young man (her boyfriend) and psychoactive substances, which made her fall out with her family and out of her job.
They both needed treatment and instead of checking herself into rehab, she chose to pay for his treatment while she stayed back and continued tumbling down the dark tunnel.
When he came out of rehab, he distanced himself from her because he didn’t want to risk a relapse.
She was left alone to figure herself out. Why do people (particularly the female gender) place sentiments over rational thinking, especially in relationship matters?
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Mary Oseni taught us how to make Jollof Rice that doesn’t spoil easily last Saturday.
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As we anticipate Season 6 of Abejoye, a fantastic Mount Zion Series, we took time to review an aspect of Season 5.
In Season 1, a guy cheated on his wife with a “sister in the Lord”, repented and moved on, but somehow “went back to his vomit” in Season 5.
As it played out, it appeared like his wife played a role in his “slip”. But…was it really her fault?
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Toru dashes in to see her mother – Emi, earphones in place. She navigates her zoom meeting as she quickly hands over mom’s prescription drugs to her. She is on her way to pick up the twins from school and as mum tries to recount her experience for the day, she responds with a sharp “not now mom. We will catch up when I come over on Saturday”. With that Toru sails out the door and contemplates the fastest route to the twins’ school to avoid traffic.
Come Saturday, Emi eagerly awaits the visit of her only daughter – Toru and prepares Onunu, the favorite meal of the twins. After a hearty lunch, the children run off to play with the neighbour’s children while mother and daughter settle down to their usual weekly tete-a-tete.
Toru begins “Mom, you look exquisite. So natural, fresh and relaxed. Was it not for your strands of grey hair you could easily pass for my elder sister? In fact, my friends are always teasing me and commending your looks. The stress of the times just doesn’t seem to leave its mark on you, meanwhile, I remember when we were growing up, you were always so busy with the shop, I determined never to grow up running a shop. It just seemed so stressful”.
Emi responds “Baby girl, the years between 20 and 50 constitute the “Hustle phase of life”. You feel you must make it or break it especially as you look forward to a stable life by age 50. At the same time as you are building a career/ business, you are juggling home, and investing for the future, while keeping up with the Joneses. Life is a whirlwind at that phase. Believe me, when I say, I can identify with you.”
She continues: “However, given that the average life expectancy is 70-80 years, the phase between the ages of 50 and 80 should be spent in quiet repose enjoying the simple things of life. The tranquility and serenity with which you face life at this point emanates from within and exudes a radiance that gives a youthful glow to the skin. This, my dear daughter, is what can be referred to as graceful aging”.
Toru too responds “Mom…mom and her rhetoric. “I guess the real question is – what do you need to do to achieve graceful aging”?
Continue reading on Havilah Speaks.
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August 8, 2018
One of my people had been complaining of not feeling well. My general recommendation usually is “Go to the hospital”. After saying it a few times without results, I caned my lane.
I’m not sure what finally got through to her but God being so gracious, she finally decided to go to the hospital. She had been self-medicating, treating malaria. After a series of tests, she was diagnosed with low blood count (abi something like that).
After a few days of adhering to the doctor’s instructions, she felt better. Somebody shout alleluia! To God be the glory.
The driver of the taxi I boarded yesterday was complaining about one strange headache that came suddenly. We were both stuck in the vehicle anyway, so I took time to advise him about going to the hospital asap. I pray he takes heed.
All of you that will be concocting medicine upandan as a DIY personally trained doctor… It’s all “fun” till you damage a vital organ…
If you are not feeling well, head to the hospital… This life is only one o… Don’t use your own hand to do yourself…
I repeat, if you don’t feel well, DO NOT TREAT YOURSELF BY YOURSELF… Head to the hospital! You will be alright by God’s grace.
Those of you cooking meat with paracetamol, una don hear about person wey village people dey pursue and him/her sef come dey use “slow motion” run. Won ma get e…. Dem go catch am…
Don’t let village people win this match. One of my lecturers once told us that every drug is poison; use only when absolutely required.
Let’s file this as #UnsolicitedAdvice201900027
Welcome to my world!
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What can we do PRACTICALLY to help people who are suicidal?
First, be there. Call, visit and just listen.
A lot of times we wade in mouth first with solutions when they just wanna be HEARD.
So Step 1 – just be there, available…
The conversation and intuition will guide your next steps.
Here are a few tips
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Dr Strive Masiyiwa
Dare to tackle challenges even one tiny step at a time.
A psychologist once took a very advanced tablet computer and gave it to a small group of young girls (under the age of 9) living in a refugee camp, and not yet in school. After one week, she found that they all knew how to switch it on, and had found their way to use some of its Apps.
The same experiment, performed with older people over the age of 20, yielded almost nothing!
The psychologist also found that the adults had a lot to complain about concerning a device they had not even learned to switch on.
What was the difference?
The older you get, the more fearful you get to experiment, and try out new things, including new ways to solve old problems.
Every day there are many things you can do to ensure you don’t fall into this trap…
Think about it!
Some of you have heard me say it before: “Big Problems are usually solved by people with the humility to make small starts.”
There are a lot of people who see a Big Problem, but they have no capacity to find a place to start solving it, which usually requires them to make even baby steps, which they often fear to do.
When I see a Big Problem, I enjoy seeing how to start solving it one step at a time.
Chipping away, day after day…
It can be months, but usually some years, and suddenly I’m there: Big Problem solved!
Next time someone tells you about a Big Problem ask them, “How do YOU propose to contribute to solve it?”
And watch how surprised they get!
Somehow we all want others to solve problems we see, and that is why nothing ever happens.
Next month, for example, school holidays start and also our Christian brothers and sisters typically gather in big religious services across Africa…
What I want to say to each of you is this, if you are thinking about traveling and getting together with family: Be careful. Be part of the solution…
These are still dangerous times! Do not let your guard down. If we want to end this pandemic once and for all, YOU have to do your own part, #MaskUp, and keep socially distanced. Last year’s Christmas holidays started a whole new second wave, far more devastating than the first one. This can’t happen again.
Do not take unnecessary risks with your life or anyone else’s!
If you jump out of a plane without a parachute, you will pay the price. If we all jump selfishly into living a “normal” life without taking prudent health precautions… I do not even want to think about how a Third Wave will hurt our people and our economies.
Be fearless, but not foolish.
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